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I wish my car could...

Displaying poll results.
Fly
  7047 votes / 33%
Navigate underwater
  665 votes / 3%
Go subterranean
  400 votes / 1%
Fly through space
  5293 votes / 25%
Shrink and drive through tiny things
  1157 votes / 5%
Expand and crush houses
  848 votes / 4%
Not make that annoying noise
  5690 votes / 26%
21100 total votes.
[ Voting Booth | Other Polls | Back Home ]
  • Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
  • Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
  • This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
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I wish my car could...

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  • Missing option: (Score:5, Insightful)

    by bobthesungeek76036 (2697689) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @01:07AM (#45179007)
    Expand and crush the idiot in front of me...
    • by Anonymous Coward

      Expand and crush the idiot behind me...

    • Actually I wouldn't mind a sort of instant brick wall system that would let me slam on breaks and have the idiot tailgating me crash without damaging my car. People in South Africa really do not understand following distance, and whenever it rains (often even when it doesn't) this results in lots of sensless death.

  • by froggymana (1896008) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @01:14AM (#45179023)

    All I want my car to do is get me from point A to point B... by itself and without my help.

    • Bingo.

    • by wvmarle (1070040) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @04:13AM (#45179423)

      Those exist already. It's those special cars with a sign on the roof that reads "taxi".

      I'm using them quite often actually. The best thing is that they usually even know where you are and you can just walk to the street for one, in worst case they're a single phone call and a 10-20 minute wait away. Very convenient. You wave your hand and it comes to you, you just tell (yes, voice control!) where it has to go, and off you go.

      Best of all: you don't even have to worry about parking, after you get off it'll just go it's merry way.

      • Those exist already. It's those special cars with a sign on the roof that reads "taxi".

        I'm using them quite often actually. The best thing is that they usually even know where you are and you can just walk to the street for one, in worst case they're a single phone call and a 10-20 minute wait away. Very convenient. You wave your hand and it comes to you, you just tell (yes, voice control!) where it has to go, and off you go.

        Best of all: you don't even have to worry about parking, after you get off it'll just go it's merry way.

        Yeah, nice if you live in a city big enough to have taxi's at ready call, not so good for the rest of us. Taxi's are certainly not the best option either as they are expensive and require people to be familiar with the Chinese town know as Tipping. Buses and trains also work, but again, due to U.S. political and geographical realities they aren't everywhere either and aren't really cheaper than a car unless you are traveling more than 200 miles. I want a true autopilot for my car. My phone knows where it is

      • by OFnow (1098151)
        Taxis do exist, one could wish they were cleaner than my own car, not dirtier than my own car.
      • by antdude (79039)

        But they're expensive. I'd rather have KITT/KARR!

        • by wvmarle (1070040)

          Depends where you live - in my locality taxi is cheaper than private car, unless you drive really a lot, especially thanks to parking fees.

          • by antdude (79039)

            Ah. In L.A., commuting over 35 miles is like 300 bucks. :(

            • by wvmarle (1070040)

              That's almost much the other end of the territory. And would cost the equivalent of USD 40. Parking 8 hours is half that much already.

    • But what if point B happens to be MARS?! Your vote (4) has been registered.

    • by fatphil (181876) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @06:34AM (#45179653) Homepage
      So you wish your car was public transport?

      The big option missing was "I don't have a car, you insensitive clod".

      Not that I need one as I live in a country where I can get pretty much anywhere I want by public transport cheaply, and in a city where I can get pretty much anywhere I want for free. Perhaps you should start getting those taxes you pay directed into things that are actually useful for your own population, rather than deadly to other countries' populations.
      • "I wish my car could...
        I don't have a car, you insensitive clod"

        Yep, that sounds like the wording of a slashdot poll option.

        • "I wish my car could... I don't have a car, you insensitive clod"

          Yep, that sounds like the wording of a slashdot poll option.

          How about: "I wish my car could...
          have more than an imaginary existense"

    • by Imrik (148191)

      How about get me from point A to point B without passing through the intervening space.

  • How about? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Nkwe (604125) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @01:33AM (#45179067)
    Operate on clean energy at a reasonable price (for the energy AND the car).
  • Not have doors one has to *slam* shut.

    As if there's not enough noise already.

    (I know one can close/lock most doors by slowly but pretty firmly pressing them into the lock, but everybody likes to *BANG* them, esp. at night. )

    • Also, the annoying spike of static electricity when touching a car door to close it.
      • Also, the annoying spike of static electricity when touching a car door to close it.

        You can pick up a vehicle grounding strap for $5-$10 at most automotive stores.

  • It lets me know the car hasn't broken down yet.

  • by mccalli (323026)
    It let out the expensive magic white smoke a couple of weeks ago, and is currently sitting without an engine.

    Sore point right now.
    • Think of it as an opportunity for an upgrade.

      Not know what model you have it would be hard for me to suggest anything too specific. Small block Chevy is the way to go, unless there's room for a rat.

      • Older Porsche 911. Did I mention it was -expensive- magic smoke?
        • Small block Chevy it is then.

          The fuel injection pump in by kid brother's 911 costs more then the car is worth IMHO.

          I've got an old 914 motor I don't know what to do with. Dude paid off a debt to me with it. I don't want it.

  • by lorinc (2470890) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @06:50AM (#45179705) Homepage Journal

    I wish it could reduce to a size such that parking is no longer an issue...

  • Fix itself.
  • Jump to the front of the border line, and pass through the booth in less than 60 seconds. One third of the total trip time on my last two visits to Ontario was sitting in line.
  • by vix86 (592763) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @10:11AM (#45180313)
    How is "drive itself" not an option?!
  • I wish for a mounted Death Ray, or better, a Disintegrator, or better, (as both of them could be too silent for my taste) some sort of space-time-cruncher that throws everything ahead of me into a vortex of doom. For the rush hour.

    • You wish to murder people who are stuck in the exact same situation as you, for the crime of being stuck in the exact same situation as you?

  • Probably the best car we've ever owned is a Ford Ranger Pickup. We have two of them. Big enough to be useful - about the size of a 1970s F150. Small enough to be sensible and easy to park. A modern car, so mostly maintenance free (compared to those 70s cars), but still essentially an old school Ford truck in terms of technology, so it's reliable and doesn't tend to break. It's been discontinued. The dealer claims because "Americans don't by small trucks." Like anyone needs an F350....
    • Probably the best car we've ever owned is a Ford Ranger Pickup

      Or, in other words, a re-badged Mazda B-Series pickup.

      • by rueger (210566)
        Actually we have one of each. Don't actually know or care which is the chicken and which is the egg.
  • by SirLurksAlot (1169039) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @11:28AM (#45180755)

    I don't really care about being able to fly (As I don't know or want to know how to do that anyway), shrink, go subterranean, or any other ridiculous thing. I'd settle for the following in a perfect vehicle:

    • Run on a clean, cheap, limitless (or nearly so) fuel source.
    • Be able to carry as much cargo as I need to when I need it, but be compact and maneuverable when I don't.
    • Self-repair itself. If I didn't have to go to another mechanic for the rest of my life I would be perfectly happy.
    • Actually be safe, with zero chance of injury to passengers.

    In my opinion these are way more important than the bunk listed in the options Can you imagine all the idiots on the road today, except that every single one of them can potentially smash your house flat from the sky?

  • by DeBaas (470886) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @11:43AM (#45180831) Homepage

    I wish my car could: drive itself, park itself somewhere cheap, come over if I call it via my smart watch, be practically indestructible so it can drive through walls, go under water be bulletproof and drive itself in a driving truck with a hot female mechanic inside. Old geezer asking stupid questions optional.

    I want all that, I just don't want to look like Daivd Hasselhof and have the car talk back to me.

  • ... make the cell phone explode in the face of the annoying soccer mom next lane over.
    • Generate a repelling field to propel that dangerously overly timid derp who is waiting for that car 1/2 a mile away to go by before making his left turn into the intersection.

      Generate an EMP in a nice tight beam (so as not to cause collateral damage) in order to silence those rolling boom boxes that no one else cares to hear. Or failing that, just give me the ability to cast Bigby's Punching Fist against the driver (if the driver is a hawt 20 or 30 something gal though, make it Bibgy's Spanking Hand instea

      • Yeah, I know, this is getting silly. But to quote Ergo (the Magnificent), "If you are going to wish, wish big."

  • by mothlos (832302) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @01:19PM (#45181509)

    I want my automobile, and the cars of everyone else who lives in an urban environment, to move away and never return so that we can reclaim the horrendous amount of wasted space and inconvenient placement of services. Cars for city folk should live in parking structures in the urban/rural interface where they can be rented and taken for work or recreation. The money we save by drastically reducing the number of vehicles we own and reduced infrastructure costs directly through roads and indirectly by placing things so far apart from each other can be used to build mass transit systems which don't suffer a large host of problems which plague them in automobile-centric communities.

  • by prefec2 (875483) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @01:51PM (#45181735)

    I do not have a car, you ... !

  • by ugen (93902) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @03:06PM (#45182251)

    None of the capabilities matter in the slightest if your vehicle requires too much maintenance or results in unpleasant driving experience.

    (Yes, personal issue - I currently own one of those highly ranked Japanese cars whose owners tend to be extremely loyal and rave about its quality in variety of online media. Bought it after extensive research based on best available information. Never had a worse piece of junk in my previous experience. Perception is reality? But I digress)

  • by excelsior_gr (969383) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @04:26PM (#45182715)

    I want my car to:
    1. Stop using fossil fuels.
    2. Drop me off where I want to go and go park itself.

    Is it really that much to ask?

    • Yep, run on electricity is pretty huge since you'd save about 90% as much as what you pay in gasoline. Get some solar panels and save even more. Electric car revolution is going to be huge once they get down to the price of an economical car. The reason it hasn't exploded yet is that the cheapest electric car compared with the cheapest gasoline car means you can spend 10 years worth of gasoline before you come close to the savings.
      • by Gonarat (177568) *

        The other problem with electric cars is the range. 60 to 100 miles is fine for a commuter vehicle (for most commuters), but is no good for longer distances. So far, battery technology has not been able to create an all electric car with the range and recharge convenience of a gasoline, diesel, or natural gas vehicle. Find a way to solve this problem and get the cost down, then the electric car will be practical.

  • Get from point "A" to point "B" using fewer dinosaurs/more MPG, say 100 MPG with cleaner/more complete combustion. And fly, of course.
  • by bziman (223162) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @05:57PM (#45183387) Homepage Journal
    I would love to have a car that could navigate under water... I have involuntarily proved that mine could not.
  • by xaosflux (917784) on Sunday October 20, 2013 @06:59PM (#45183791) Homepage

    Where is this option, it is actually realistic in our lifetimes. I would love to have a car with auto-pilot.

  • Stink less.
  • Be solar powered.
  • ...go invisible.

    Could get tricky when stuff's coming the other way though. So perhaps just generally ghost-like, so you can drive it through things with no harm to either party.

  • .. Exist!

Do you suffer painful illumination? -- Isaac Newton, "Optics"

 



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