I am very suspicious that your comment is knee-jerk based on thinking of people who annoy you, and not actually going to be very helpful.. how many geeks, who whine about women not wanting them, would you want if they _just_ stopped whining about that? I think that this is rarely, if ever, the primary factor that drives women away--more likely it's just one that you mentioned because it annoys you.. not because you thought it through and decided it's actually the primary factor that made you feel a lack of attraction to any guys. (Aggravated by them, sure--but deciding "I would really be attracted to them if it weren't for the whining", I think is extremely rare.)
It surely gets on my nerves when girls whine about how ugly and unlikeable they are, just as it gets on your nerves when guys whine about being undesirable because they're geeks. However I can think of very few women (off the top of my head, only one) where this is actually her worst feature, and where other than the insecurity and whining, she isn't that bad (she's bright and very cute, for what those are worth). Most women I know who whine like that, have many other unattractive features which would continue to drive men away in the absence of their whining. Yeah, I'd feel less irritated if they stopped, so it'd make ME happier, but it wouldn't honestly do a hell of a lot for their chances of finding a mate. And from years of observation of insecure people and how they're responded to by others around them, I suspect it's similar with the guys you're thinking of. They aren't wrong in saying that women don't like them because they're a geek--you just get aggravated by the whining, like almost everyone does, and want them to shut up.
So yeah, if you whine about that kind of stuff, stop whining for the sake of everyone else's nerves.. or at least find a limited forum to restrict it to (e.g. geek communities), rather than broadcasting it without constraints to the entire world. But if anyone tells you the whining is the main reason you're not getting dates.. in my experience (where I saw people saying this to other people, so could be at least somewhat objective about interpreting it), they're usually telling you a line of BS because they're aggravated by the whining and just want you to shut up.
And being a geek, specifically, turns off a LOT of women, all the more so if you have traits of Asperger's [wired.com], which are common in geeks and more or less defined as difficulty in communicating and relating to people on emotional levels. As far as I've seen from girls, throughout adolesence and into college age, geekisms turn off the majority of women, unless you have a glowing personality to make up for it, although there is a significant minority of women who don't mind so much, which I think grows quickly (the size of that minority) as women age through their 20s and beyond.
To a certain degree I agree with you. The only thing I will say as devil's advocate here is that confidence rates more highly on the list of qualities that women find desirable. There are different value systems at play, here. Don't get me wrong, I still think your post makes an excellent point, and I don't disagree, but I think that whining is something that matters an extra percentage point or two to women.
"It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them."
-- Alfred Adler
being a geek doesn't turn off women... (Score:3, Insightful)
To all you whiners, if you want to get laid, I highly recommend getting over yourselves already.
Just trying to help. Flame away.
tokengeekgrrl
being a geek does turn off women... (Score:2, Insightful)
It surely gets on my nerves when girls whine about how ugly and unlikeable they are, just as it gets on your nerves when guys whine about being undesirable because they're geeks. However I can think of very few women (off the top of my head, only one) where this is actually her worst feature, and where other than the insecurity and whining, she isn't that bad (she's bright and very cute, for what those are worth). Most women I know who whine like that, have many other unattractive features which would continue to drive men away in the absence of their whining. Yeah, I'd feel less irritated if they stopped, so it'd make ME happier, but it wouldn't honestly do a hell of a lot for their chances of finding a mate. And from years of observation of insecure people and how they're responded to by others around them, I suspect it's similar with the guys you're thinking of. They aren't wrong in saying that women don't like them because they're a geek--you just get aggravated by the whining, like almost everyone does, and want them to shut up.
So yeah, if you whine about that kind of stuff, stop whining for the sake of everyone else's nerves.. or at least find a limited forum to restrict it to (e.g. geek communities), rather than broadcasting it without constraints to the entire world. But if anyone tells you the whining is the main reason you're not getting dates.. in my experience (where I saw people saying this to other people, so could be at least somewhat objective about interpreting it), they're usually telling you a line of BS because they're aggravated by the whining and just want you to shut up.
And being a geek, specifically, turns off a LOT of women, all the more so if you have traits of Asperger's [wired.com], which are common in geeks and more or less defined as difficulty in communicating and relating to people on emotional levels. As far as I've seen from girls, throughout adolesence and into college age, geekisms turn off the majority of women, unless you have a glowing personality to make up for it, although there is a significant minority of women who don't mind so much, which I think grows quickly (the size of that minority) as women age through their 20s and beyond.
Re:being a geek does turn off women... (Score:1)